Your tongue is “discolored” – your tongue is blue, you are drinking a blue slushie. It’s not permanent, it’s not dangerous, it will go away a couple of hours after you’re done with the Jack Skellington and Sally face mask Ew people shirt also I will do this drink, so you’re free to go.” And with that, they walk about just as happy as can be. What confuses me the most is that her mother is a very intelligent individual. Sure. But it is not because they care what is happening to you, or love you a bit after all. Ideally, they will see that you are struggling without them, still pining for them, and still confused and upset. That strokes the narc ego, and that is what is most important to them, the ego. You were once their possession, fully under their control, and even if they dumped you, they want to know they could still have you if they wanted. If you walked away from them, it is trickier for them, because that was a blow to the ego, and they need to be able to tell themselves that, notwithstanding, you still pine. So they keep tabs on you- if not directly, through their flying monkeys. Mine still tries, even though we split up decades ago- but I am hyper-vigilant, have maximum privacy settings on all social media, never befriend anyone I don’t know (they use false names a lot), and have blocked him everywhere. I don’t want him to know anything about my life, even though it is happy and settled. That knowledge would drive him nuts, and I could torture him a bit, but I know the lack of knowledge drives him even more nuts, s I can torture him without even trying. Please learn about the disorder so you can see why I say this, and why your escape is the only option if you want a happy life. Since every narc is the same, one book will do it. I always recommend Prepare to be Tortured (the price you will pay for dating a narcissist). AB Jamieson, on Amazon. It is a good general guide and will tell you all you need to know, without psychobabble, and it covers narcs as friends and colleagues and relatives, which is useful – there are a lot about it. It is also good on the red flags, so you can spot narcs in the future and stay well away.