It was like being thrown out of a tornado. I had to come to the A Bus Driver confession once a child is in my school bus I will always refer to them as one of my kids shirt but in fact I love this realization that after all of this time, he was a narcissist and I had unknowingly suffered from mental abuse from him for years and always thought that I was crazy. The gaslighting, the love bombing, the flying monkeys, the lies, the deceit. I truly had to educate myself on the type of monster he was. But he has all of the traits. It was too much to take in. You truly feel as though you’ve been mentally raped. I tried so hard to rationalize the situation, but that’s hard to do when you’re reading the truth right there in front of your face in black and white. I am the mother to his child so I never in a million years figured that nobody in their right mind would want to cause harm, grief, or turmoil to the only other parent capable of tending to our daughter because he’s disabled. He’s devious, the devil incarnate. I’m still recovering while raising our child. He had a family member come to get him when he knew the heat was on him. This is tricky. Narcissistic behavior is hard to explain because of how manipulative it is. They can always spin their own justification for strange actions. I would avoid going into a lot of detail about the narcissism. It can make you appear pretty if they have not experienced gaslighting or emotional manipulation themselves. It could undermine your authenticity with your friends. These are mutual friends so they like your ex too. They will be prepared to see the good in him and no doubt he has his own line on what happened. It will carefully reflect badly on you of course because he won’t be to blame for anything. Your best approach might be to rise above it. Simply state that you’ve moved past it and you wish him well for example. Or that things just didn’t work out, but you don’t find it constructive to talk about the past and you’re focusing on your future. Something in your own words to express that you are positive and not bearing a grudge and that you don’t want to get involved in talking about sex relationships. Save that for your best friend or your close confidantes.