Love, on the It’s a Chiefs and beer kinda day shirt Apart from…,I will love this other hand is devotion to a person, a commitment to act in ways that are for the best of the other person, an inexplicable drive to comfort, protect, and serve another, to tend to another person in order to nurture them and their growth. Love is what makes you see the very best in someone, even when it is a tiny percentage of that person.I love my narc still, regardless of his abuse and betrayal. It’s not a trauma bond, because when I got him out of the house, I wasn’t lost. Not this time. I didn’t wander around not knowing who I was without him, nor was I tempted to let him return. That doesn’t mean I’m not sad about him. I’m sad for him. He had it all. Not to sound arrogant, but he had a wife and kids that everybody envied. He had love and a real home, with comfort, care and support. But he couldn’t help himself. He had to fuck around with other women. He had to sabotage himself. He had to betray those that loved him in favor of a little novelty. That’s sad. When I don’t hate him, I feel so sorry for him that I cry. Lastly, when I’ve had to take him to court and take action to protect myself, I felt like shit. I didn’t want to sit in court and tell what he’s done. I hated it. And I’m not done having that responsibility. It was a terrible choice to hurt him to save myself. But the part of him that I love is not in control. I can’t live with that. I feel like I’m abandoning him. Before I got wise, I thought I could keep the good side out, keep him free from his own demon. But I couldn’t. So I had to leave him to the demon. I now know that the demon is who we deal with, the one in control. They chose that!
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