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Both families and the girl may be unhappy for Deck the halls with progress and equality Kamala Lah-La-Lah-La ugly Christmas sweater awhile after you inform them of your decision but that is far better than both of you being unhappy for life. She will get over it. Both families will get over it. Yes, there will be some hell to pay but it will be temporary. The hell of a bad marriage lasts a lot longer.
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