It took 5 more years to realize that his kindness is always an act, a diversion, a ploy to pacify me because he had grown infatuated with one of his pets. All those years he was philandering before never showed in his behavior. This time, he seemed to feel about someone else the way he felt about me for five minutes. A new prime supply might be on the horizon. That makes narc happy, and he doesn’t want me to know, so being nice was to buy time.
It was October 1973 and after missing her due date of October 1, my mother’s obstetrician decided on October 30th that it was time to induce her. My mother’s labor hadn’t been progressing and on October 31st. they hooked her up to a fetal monitor and saw that I was under stress. This prompted the medical team to break my mom’s water in hopes of speeding up the labor and delivering me. When they broke the water they found meconium (a baby’s first bowel movement – which shouldn’t happen until the baby is delivered) and they were concerned that I had aspirated this sticky substance into my lungs. At the time, this was a serious and potentially life-threatening complication for the baby so my mother was immediately rushed into the operating room for an emergency c-section.
Due towards the terrible nature associated with delivery and potential meconium aspiration, I happened to be immediately taken fully to the children’s hospital to ensure i might get access to the greatest standard of care. Over the course of 11 days, they went countless examinations on me personally let’s assume that i might possess some permanent damage from the labor and delivery. Eventually, my moms and dads received permission to take me home following the physicians cannot find such a thing diagnoseable. Because they discharged me they left my parents with this particular extremely insensitive prognosis for my future, “Don’t anticipate much from her. At The Very Least, she’ll probably be hyperactive.”
Let me start with I LOVED MY HUSBAND more then anything. As far as I could find out, he cheated on me twice. The first time, he had left a chat up on the computer from a Facebook “friend”. To read those words, how they looked forward to seeing each other again and he couldn’t leave me yet, (even though she begged and he told her he thought of her everyday). I closed the Laptop and walked away. It took me a few hours to finally say something bc I was in complete shock.
He said they only talked, nothing ever happened and he would break it off immediately. I found her number, called her and asked her what happened: she said what do you think happened, but he won’t leave me), almost like I won? Fast forward 2 years, I was barely holding on, my weight dropped to 115, 5′10, I cried all the time daily. My health fell apart and after almost dying, I decided to quit my job (15 yrs)and work on our marriage of almost 20 years. 6 months after I left my job, I was DX with Lupus (SLE). I was sick all the time . All of a sudden he had all these work hrs, I mean leaving at 5 am, getting home 11 or 12 at night, where he would eat a sandwich and fall asleep in 30min. I started checking phone records and he was texting someone ALL day.
All the time he distracted me by being nice, he was absent in other ways. We go to a friend’s wedding, dressed to the nines, and he is nice but avoidant. You might look amazing, and every other man there gives a look, not him. He might do his duty of a compliment, but it’s shallow. You want pics of you two together, and he is distant in a way that isn’t aggressive like a punishment. Its more like a politician who gets a photo with a baby. Turn and smile. Nothing else. Not mean. But not there.