Meanwhile, this family, now all elderly, has lived for decades without him. . If he had had a child when he died, that child would now be older than James, the I eat meat but I identify as a vegan shirt moreover I love this boy, and would barely have known him, He has no place with this group. In fact, he is a stranger to them He may remember their names, and the names of other pilots in his unit, but then what? They have all adjusted to his absence. Everything that defined him in his previous life is, his job, his lovers, friends, lifestyle etc. is unavailable to him. My daughter was a swimmer, so her days started at 4 am and finished at 8 pm. In the summer, she would try to wait up on a Friday night for him to get home from a business trip away, so that they could have a swim in our pool. He would come home and decline her offer, saying he was too tired. She would take herself off to bed, only for him to disappear downstairs 10 minutes later to have a swim on his own. When I questioned him, he said he thought she would want to play with him and he didn’t want to play! After we separated, the reality hit! He would come to see her once a fortnight for an hour or two, taking her shopping and buying her gifts (something he had never done before). I would say to him all the time, that he was welcome and should spend more time with her, but it was always only when it was his best interests. Sometimes he would call in after work and tell her he didn’t want to get stuck in peak hour traffic, so that was his reason for the visit. When she was nearly 18, (6 months ago) I found evidence of his cheating, online dating and escort agencies. I showed her and then him. He raged at her for knowing about this and not telling him. She called him out on his behaviour. When he said he had been lonely, she laughed in his face and told him to enjoy the day, as this would be the last day she would ever see him. To date, he has sent her two text messages (which she did not read) and has rang me once to ask how she was. He told me (probably after consultation from the woman he had an affair with for the last 3 years of our marriage and who he slept with in both mine and my daughter’s bed), that he knew she would talk to him again and it would probably take a year or two and he would just wait it out! Good god, what a grandiose stance to take!
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