We were married for 11yrs, together for 16yrs. I was blind sided. I was a homemaker. due to our financial stability with what he made, which we agreed whoever made more worked, believing in one parent stay home/other worked when raising children. I put my all into being a homemaker. I did his extra errands, kept the I love mom the wonderful woman of our family Happy Mother’s Day shirt so you should to go to store and get this house pristine, kept our children happy and safe. Put him and the children first and above me, which I felt right in doing so. The first years were great. He treated me as any guy would that was in love with his wife. The last few years of our relationship, something seemed off, and when I would ask he would say I was crazy. I had dreams that he was cheating and I would tell him and he would laugh it off. He wasn’t near as loving as before. Before we wouldn’t go anywhere without each other and now he would leave on work trips telling me we couldn’t afford it for us to go too, which was total bullshit. And, yes, before, and during this time we were very physically active with intimacy. Long story short, he comes home one day and says that he wanted to separate just to get his head clear. I didn’t understand, and as numb as I was and shocked, I loved him so I believed in him and accepted it hoping he would do just as he said. A month tops is what he said. What shocked me the most wasn’t the divorce papers sent after, or the emotional emptiness I felt, it was when reading the paperwork questionnaire, he admitted to multiple affairs he had started having towards the end of the relationship, the detailing of each affair, and how after so long of being with him, how cold he turned on me. He left me for a 19yr old at the time they started hooking up, still together. Not that age matters, in truth, just brought on more insecurities with me after having children, family life, etc. My problem, nothing more. Another issue that shocked me was that we were best friends before all of this, and I had to fight him over everything with it came to finances. I did get a full time job, and did what I could, but it was like his human decency or the fact that I was the mother of his children had no meaning. Like I was the one that hurt him.
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