In reality, once grown, they find out that their disturbing childhood left them mistrustful and fearful around other people and they may find it difficult to make meaningful connections. They also tend to treat their bodies the I_ll always be your biggest fan America flag shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this way their parents treated them: as things without feelings that are there simply to be useful. This generally translates into them becoming dissociated from their feelings and bodily sensations and often working till they are literally exhausted and ill. These Narcissistic parents treat their children as slaves. The children have no rights and get no respect. Their parents treat them as inhuman tools without feelings who exist mainly to serve the parents’ needs. These parents often have a sadistic streak and may actively abuse their children. Sometimes the abuse takes physical form and the children are regularly beaten for disobedience of any kind. One young man reported that his family had a particularly ritualized way of physically abusing him. When he displeased his Narcissistic mother during the day, she would tell his step father when he came home from work that the boy needed to be punished. After dinner, the boy would have to choose the item with which he would be beaten from a wall of implements: various sized sticks and short whips. This boy’s spirit was never broken. He did not grow up to have a Narcissistic or a Schizoid adaptation. Instead he became extremely rebellious and resisted any and all forms of authority. His family was upper class and extremely status conscious and pretentious. One of his forms of rebellion and revenge consisted of him becoming a petty criminal and pretending to be working class. He saw this as the ultimate rejection of his family and as a perpetual source of embarrassment for them. Another young man never managed to fully leave his abusive family. Despite being quite good-looking, he saw himself as fat, unattractive, and unappealing to women. He had body-dysmorphic disorder and extremely low self-esteem from being continually told that he was ugly and useless. He had internalized his family’s Narcissistic values, but was convinced that he was too inferior to ever achieve anything significant. Instead he focused his insecurities on his appearance. He comforted himself with the fantasy that he would date someday and get a better job when he was thinner and had worked out at the gym enough to get a better physique.
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