My grandmother was already sliding into dementia, and had grown up in the 1920’s so overbearing men were her norm (my grandfather was the exception), and my mother who lived upstairs (told me later that she) believed I should “make my own mistakes”, so there was literally nobody to put an end to this. I was uncomfortable, but I was also sheltered and fairly clueless about relationships so what did I know?
My parents not usually strict but my aunt made sure I was disciplined. Spanking were not usual since my parents believe it has to only for major trouble. Do you want to get spanked was enough for us to stop doing any trouble. Or apologize. Because spankings in our house were once in blue moon and severe. It was never slapping around for small things like we used to see. My brothers were caned few times by my aunt who we used to live with us. She was basically our disciplinarian. They couldn’t sit for few days after the caning. I happened to walk across a small shop across the street and wanted to get a candy.
My mom refused. I just picked one opened the wrapper and started eating knowing well that my mom couldn’t refuse now and has to pay. Lot of people around saw what happened and my moms face was red. All I remember next was she dragging me to house. She was very angry and I have seen how my brothers were caned in their room. All she said was go to other room and don’t come out. I remember she calling my aunt and dad. Don’t know what they spoke and after 5 minutes my aunt was in room with 2 canes. There was no shouting or anger but a stern order to turn around and lie on my stomach.
All I remember next was she pulling my skirt up and gave me around 8–9 strokes. She told mom not to come in where punishment was taking place. All were on bums and hard. I was crying hard. She stopped turned me around and said the 2nd cane will be kept in my room from now on. I need to see that cane to make sure I keep out of trouble. My mom came in that night and checked my caning. Never do that again is only thing she said and left. Next day morning mom stopped by and applied some cream. No words exchanged. And that cane never left my room till my marriage.
So on Christmas Day I took our sons over to their house so they could spend time with him and their grandma. We started opening presents and his mom walks over to me and throws this piece of crap used ornament at me (yes she threw it hard) while giving me the nastiest look I’ve ever seen. Then she tells our sons that he is coming home with us so mom and dad could make up! Some of his cousins loaded him into my car before I could say a word. I had to help him to the bed (I was 5′2 and 105 lbs. and he was 5′10 at 225 lbs) and I was furious at them for getting my boy’s hopes up when everyone knew we were getting divorced.
Then he did what I considered to be the rudest thing on earth. I called my grandmother while on a break between classes, and he picked up the phone halfway through the first ring. He had his ass parked on my grandmother’s couch and picked up her phone without so much as asking her permission. Even now, near a quarter century later, I cannot and will not touch another person’s house or cell phone without their express permission because in my book that’s the height of rudeness.