I woke up from a dead sleep because I heard a noise in the Notorious RBG Ruth Bader Ginsburg RBG fighting shirt and I love this hall. Suddenly I saw a little person run past my open door. The caveman portion of my brain dumped a weeks worth of adrenaline into my bloodstream. I leapt from the bed, clearing my wife and charged towards the door. Mid stride I grabbed a 2 and 1/2 inch wrench that was handy. Not seeing him I ran down the hall into the living room. I still haven’t realized this is a dream and I’m fully expecting to crack some skulls (sidenote if you’re going to prank me you probably don’t want to do something that involves being in my house at night). By the time I had cleared the house swat style as best I know from cop shows my senses were returning. After checking the closets I returned to bed and tried to get my heart rate back down into the double digits. Another time as a teenager I woke up and saw a giant spider crawl under my brothers bed. Not just a tarantula or something like that, this thing was about the size of a cat. I stood up and started screaming at my brother. I should add that he suffers from the same waking dreams I do. I’m shouting to him to stand on his bed and “jump out away” from the bed. I was worried that the spider would bite into his unprotected achilles tendon if he just stood up. Not knowing what is going on he does as I say and jumps off his bed. I tell him about the spider and his eyes go wide. But of course he can’t just go back to bed until we find it. For some reason we had a pick ax in our bedroom and he grabs it and starts digging crap out from under his bed. Being messy teenage boys there was quite a bit of junk under there. As the underside of the bed cleared with no sign of the spider we began to realize it was a dream. When I was 15 I went on a 12 day trip rafting the Grand Canyon. We stopped at a beach one night and tied up the boats on the downstream side of camp. I set up my cot all the way up on the far upstream side of camp, maybe 100 yards away from the boats. I fell asleep listening to music with my head phones on. In the night I remember dreaming about tripping over things I couldn’t see.
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