My daughter has the same issues. I am so sorry you’re going through this Darth Vader we are never too old for lego shirt! That’s so hard! Definitely find her a therapist. Ask your local moms groups for recommendations. No one should have tried to convince you that she gets enough help if she’s still. My daughter was getting severe anxiety when going to sleep. We took her to a therapist. It was a lifesaver. We also learned that loud noises and very busy situations can overwhelm her to the point of freaking out. This helped during a meltdown. Hold her hands with yours, then move them up and down (one is going up as the other is down).