thing is, i weighed 119 lbs at 5 feet tall and was in the best shape of my life, down from my usual curvy 135 lbs. i hated her in that moment. she always said shit like that whenever she flipped out, but i hadn’t eaten a meal in 2 days because i was sick. i remember barely eating until i went back to school after Christmas break because i was upset. to this day i still don’t really eat if im stressed out, pissed off, upset or depressed for any reason. i am fat now and it took half my life to get to a place of acceptance and embracing my body for what it is. im strong. im healthy (mostly- i have her fibromyalgia and a few associated issues). i just got a belly to go with the curves. thick thighs save lives!
the only one close to unforgivable is when she destroyed Christmas for me. I was 15 and sick with a cold, so I was drinking broth from my giant grinch mug and eating a slice of toast for breakfast. she’d had her happy face on the night before in front of the inlaws. but she snapped after calling me a fat cow for eating like usual and for some reason grabbed the Christmas garland and started beating me with it. she was demanding to take all that shit down, now! I was just shocked and ran to my room and shoved her out. I blocked the door so she couldn’t get in and wanted to cry.