Tomorrow night, I am planning to don my old and unused wedding dress, take out my false teeth, and scream at any young children who dare darken my door. Or maybe I’ll just do what I usually do; take my nieces and nephews trick-or-treating in the section of Capitol Hill known for its rows of over-the-top-decorated houses and generous candy treats. Then I’m planning to join a haunted pub crawl downtown, where I’ll likely throw down a few $15 absinthes (not being in college, I have a bit more disposable income) and maybe enjoy some crab mac-n-cheese and an apple-spinach salad. Last weekend, I helped host a big house party with a live band. The weekend before, I went to a pre-Halloween party and overindulged on Patron and homemade caramel apples. This is in contrast to my college days, where I’d spent any given Halloween at a big generic party, waiting in line to fill my red Solo cup (scrawled with my initials) from the Miller Lite keg and worrying about some jerkoff pulling the tail of my lame “sexy cat” costume. Then going home, ordering a Dominos pizza, and waking up reeking of beer and cigarettes. At Christmas you get to exchange presents and be close with your family, huddled up indoors with hot chocolate and good food. At Thanksgiving you get to sit down with the people you chose to that are closest in your life, eat tons of good food and literally give thanks for what you have. At New Years you get to ring in another year of life and again party with the family or friends you’re closest to. You get to think about what this next year will bring and end this one with a bang.
Let me clarify: I have no complaints about eyeliner on the lower lash line as part of a more dramatic look. Bold makeup can support a bold lower lash line and nothing looks amiss — in fact, these designs would probably look pretty weird without it. Let me clarify: I have no complaints about eyeliner on the lower lash line as part of a more dramatic look. Bold makeup can support a bold lower lash line and nothing looks amiss — in fact, these designs would probably look pretty weird without it. What I really can’t stand is when the rest of the eye is bald as a kneecap and there’s a big ole thick line on the bottom. Even adding a thick line to the bottom of a more dressed up eye — eyeshadow, upper eyelid line, mascara, the works — if that bottom line is too thick, you are just increasing the likelihood that I develop an aneurysm in my distress. It just reminds me way too much of the way sad little kids who aren’t really cool enough to be fully goth but still spirited enough to try (aka me 8 years ago) do their makeup in middle school. It’s also so incredibly aging if you’re not a beautiful model with professionally applied makeup. And if you do indeed happen to be incredibly beautiful, you just look like an incredibly beautiful raccoon or possum. Okay maybe sometimes lining the lower lash eyeliner is fine. MAYBE but I haven’t seen it yet. Also, let women wear whatever they want, blah blah, let’s stop criticizing one another — and believe me I’d never say this to anyone’s face (unless they asked…) But this look just bothers me and that’s the long and short of it! Usually a little eyeliner up top can help with my cringe levels, but sometimes not.