One of my biggest pet peeves are people who see a little old lady living on her own, know that she has kids and judge them for never visiting. If someone never visits, they probably have an actual reason, and it’s probably the Welcome to TechSaaS with flag shirt Besides,I will do this little old lady’s fault. Remember, she wasn’t always a little old lady. Perhaps she was an abusive drunk. Who made her children’s lives an absolute hell. Sometimes, people just reap what they sowed… And you have no right to judge others without having walked in their shoes, and seen the way their parents treated them. I’ve seen plenty of cases in which the parents absolutely do not deserve visits from their children. You emotionally abused them their whole childhood and you expect them to visit? You physically abused them their whole life and then you expect them to visit? To help you? You never cared but then you expect them to care? Because what? Because you got old? Tough luck. Because you were capable of having sex and you were fertile? Well, I have to tell you, there’s more to making a parent than having a baby. It’s what comes after. It’s the love, the nurturing, the budding respect. You never offered them but expect them to be offered to you just because what… you fucked some decades ago but continued on to being a deplorable parent? You want what gratitude? No child asks to come into this world, asking them to be thankful for something they never asked for defeats basic rationality. What makes a parent worth visiting is how they treated their kids when they had the power. When their kids were helpless and at their mercy. The parents that don’t get visits? I bet the majority of them fucked up at some point, majorly. The rest? I don’t know, maybe their children suck too, we’re all human, not only parents can suck. In my thirties, I recognized this trend reasonably quickly and managed to make my peace with it. It wasn’t easy – any guy that tells you going from the spotlight to second tier is a painless process is either a liar or in denial. In my thirties, I accepted my impulse was selfish and managed to work past it. If I had been placed in that situation when I was, say, 22? I do not *for a moment* agree with or encourage the behavior that causes so many dads to leave their families and create single mothers.
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